I wish....

     It has been almost 2 months since I have written. So many things have happened. Mostly great things! We went to Disney, have gone to the river, enjoyed a lot of time with friends. I never want summer to end. I have been soaking up every last ounce of sun that I possibly can between working full time and taking care of household needs (and a lot of that has gone to the wayside as well) I promise I will get back on here and share pictures and stories of all of these events. But today I need to get something out.
     Today I am lost in thought. I had a great day. It was a little bit rocky in the middle because my son threw a bit of a tantrum but we made it through and I truly believe we came out stronger for it in the end. I will take a tantrum and having to punish him every single day over having to deal with all of the things on my mind.
     Last night some dear friends of mine lost their 12 year old Godson to a fight with a rare heart disease. (For more of his story click here) I can't even begin to imagine their pain or the pain of the parents of this child. It kills me deep inside to think of the loss these people are feeling. I cannot explain how becoming a parent connects you to all other parents. Sure, there are gaps and everyone's parenting styles are different but every parent I know loves their children more than life itself and just thinking about someone losing one makes my heart break into a million pieces over and over again. In March we lost a member of our family. My fiances nephew. Seeing his brother and sister in law and niece and the rest of the people that I have come to love and cherish as my own family broke me in a way I didn't know it could. When I was a senior in high school, I lost my baby cousin to a choking incident. He was one year old. A teeny little baby who had so much light and happiness in him. He filled our lives with joy much like any child does. Watching my aunt and uncle at his funeral killed me. The look of devastation on their faces was one that will stay in my soul for all of eternity. The 2 more recent events were no different. Every loss that we are faced with changes us. Every time that we lose someone so dear to our hearts something in our world shifts. Every time we have to stop and re-evaluate all of the things in our lives. Every time we change. 
     Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about James' nephew and family. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about my own family and our own struggle all of those years ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think about and miss my grandparents and even James' Mom who I never met. Deep inside of me are these things that surface every so often just enough for me to remember just how damn lucky I am. I am not perfect. I may think of these things and choose not to reflect on them because it is far too painful. Today, I have done nothing but reflect. Today, my life will be forever changed, again. Today is a day to remember. Every day is a day to remember.
     I know I would be a different person if all of these things hadn't happened and affected my life. I just have to wonder why these horrible things happen to good people. People who work hard and are honest and loving and kind. I know that we all ask ourselves these questions. I know that I will never get the answers. I also know that I can't help but think them. I can't help but feel like life is cruel and unfair and that the more devious and deceitful you are, the more you gain. That makes me sad. It makes me so incredibly sad.
     Today, I am thankful, grateful and happy for all the amazing, wonderful things and people I have in my life. Today I am sad, regretful and distressed for all of the wonderful, amazing people and children that have been lost in our lives. Today, I wish that there was more I could do for the people that I love.

Rejuvenate your Motherhood

Dear Moms of the world,
     You... Yes you... Happy Mother's Day! Relax. Enjoy it. Embrace your children and your motherhood. That doesn't mean the dishes or laundry or vacuuming. It means embrace the little moments. Embrace the smiles. The laughs. The whining. The crazy. The happy. The sad. Embrace all of it. We as Moms are underappreciated most of the time. Yet, as a Mom myself, I believe I also underappreciate my kids a good portion of the time. None of us know what we have for time or what life will bring. It all just passes so quickly. So today, forget the crap and enjoy what's real. Embrace YOU and the mother that you are. You deserve a day off to wrap yourself in all the good that motherhood has brought. It is not always easy to find the good. Rejuvenate yourself today and remember all of it is good!

It's never easy and every day is new. So start new. Today and everyday.

Happy Mother's Day!

Love, love, love!

Life is too short to be anything but happy!

     If there is one thing I have learned it is that the people you keep in your life are the ones that will be there for you and the ones that make you happy. Life is absolutely too short to be anything but happy. Live for you and your family. No one else.
     I have had a very busy week and the it will continue to be just as busy! A lot of work but this weekend will be a busy but fun one spent with family for Sophia's 1st birthday and then Mother's Day! I am looking forward to spending some serious time with my kids!
       How are you spending this weekend?!
                             Love, love, love!

Un-become who you were never really meant to be.

     For the first time in a while I had an actual weekend! I had 2 and a half days off in a row! It was a busy one but I got to spend time with some of the most important and amazing people in my life. It was fantastic to have some me time and do some stuff that I miss and love doing! I even did something new that I would like to do more of!

It was a birthday and graduation party for Nanny on Saturday night. She has completed her Masters Degree in Education and we are all so so so proud of all that she has accomplished. She also can only eat Paleo foods so she couldn't eat this cake that was made for her. The irony of her blowing out the candles on it was very amusing. It was a great night with so many old friends. All of the old gang that I used to live with and have some crazy pre-kid, late teen years parties with were there and it made for a seriously awesome and eventful night! 

On Sunday morning, Melissa, Jenn and I geared up for the Color Run 5K! This was a before shot. It was cold an cloudy and mostly just a fast paced walk but my goal is that next year I will be able to run it! It's not a very big goal since it's only 3.1 miles but I am dedicated to making that happen!

These are some crazy after shots of us after we had finished. It was so fun getting hit by color at every turn! It's definitely something I recommend and something that I look forward to do again! Especially with these ladies! Nothing was better than hanging out with them! It was a complete and total blast! 

Monday I spent all day with the kids. We went shoe shopping for sneakers, sandals and water shoes to get ready for our upcoming trips to Disney (30 days!!!!) and Sparks, NV (in August). Then we bought Sophia's birthday presents (which is in less than 2 weeks. I cannot believe how fast the time has flown by!) Then we went to Panera and the park with Nanny and Camila. It was chilly but still fun. I love seeing them laugh and have a great time! They're my favorite! 

I saw this and I really liked it. It applies to me in a lot of ways and I relate to it on so many levels. Right now it applies to me and food and exercise. Last week I started to really count my calories and watch what I'm eating as well as exercise more regularly. I have a lot of goals coming my way and I'm gonna do my best to un-become everything that isn't really me and be who I have always been meant to be. For my friends, for my family, for my kids and most importantly for myself.

Lots more goals coming my way but I'm ready to take them on with full force!

Have an amazing week everyone! 

Love, love, love!

Happy Easter!!!

Happy Easter to all!!!!

     It was such a wonderful Easter morning with the kiddos! Gabe said that he heard a hop from the Easter Bunny when he was here last night hiding the Easter eggs. Ha ha. Kids are too funny!

     We did our Easter egg coloring at the beginning of the week! Gabe invited his friend Lola up to help do Sophia's eggs because she was too little to do them. It was Lola's first time doing Easter eggs and she really enjoyed it. Soph really liked the stickers!

We had quite the theme happening this year. Avengers for Gabe and Disney Princesses for Sophia. The coloring kit for Sophia was Sofia the First! I loved both kits!

The completed projects.

The stuff last night before the kids saw it. Even the plastic eggs that were hidden

 Avengers and Princess designs!

Sophia loved digging into her first Easter basket! She later tried

to eat the candy. That didn't go over so well when I had to take

it away. 

I think Gabe's favorite part was Easter egg hunting! He loves

stuff like that and he had a blast trying to find them all! He found

all 18 of his and all 18 of his sisters!

Gabe helped me with Easter breakfast! One of his favorite treats.

Cinnamon Rolls. He really likes to lick the frosting and he helped me

this time by spreading it on most of the rolls. Look at the

serious concentration!

My wonderful, amazing, fantastic children wishing all a Happy Easter!

     Enjoy the time with your family and friends! I know I have been. There's nothing like Easter morning with your children. Have an amazing day and don't forget to thank God for all of the wonderful things he has blessed you with in your life through his sacrifice!

Love, love, love!

Funny and Favorite Friday

     My dear co-workers and friends were quite hilarious on spring cleaning day at work. It was a day filled with wonderful little moments. Those are my favorite moments at work. We were getting work done while also having an amazing time together as a team. I loved it! At one point Scott was doing this hilarious dance and Ryan, Angela and I were all laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. Afterward I said I needed to go to the bathroom because I was going to pee my pants. Angela proceeded to say "Oh me too! I had to get on the floor to laugh because I didn't want to pee in our new chairs!" She was completely serious. I didn't think I could laugh anymore but I couldn't stop laughing after that.

     For whatever reason, I found this batman/catman picture hysterical. There is no reason for it but I burst out laughing. 

     As always, my kids are the most joy and happiness that I have in my life. They're always saying or doing funny little things that make my heart smile. This picture of Sophia is one of my favorite of the week. She's a character at 10 months! 

         It's been a rough couple of weeks. Finding the funny moments hasn't been an easy task. But when the laughter comes, there is almost nothing better than the feeling that comes with it! I hope that no matter what kind of week you had, you look for your favorite and funny moments from the week! It's worth it. It will definitely lift your spirits! Love, love, love! 

My journey...

    Sometimes I think that I should have done things differently. It's not that I am unhappy or jealous of other people's lives, I just always feel like I should have done more. Been better. Pushed myself. I have always been a very driven person but for a few years I lost that. Every time I think that I should have done things differently I look at my two beautiful children and realize that God had a bigger plan. I can still push myself to do more and be better, in my current job, as a mother, as a fiance, as a person, as a friend. I am still everything I was ever meant to be. My journey isn't over so I can still do some of the things I feel like I should have done differently. I just know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and everything I have done this far has made me exactly who I am today. 

     Don't doubt yourself. Just relish in all that you are and all that you have done. I can't imagine who I would be if things had gone differently. Life is just the way it's supposed to be... and just the way I want it to be. Not to mention; the birds are chirping, the sun is shining; Spring is finally here! What a beautiful day to embrace the life you have! Have a splendid sunny day! 

Love, love, love!

Make your own luck!

     If there's one thing I've learned lately it's that life is short. So love deeply. Speak the truth. Spend time with those you care about. Make your own luck. Be happy, no matter what it takes! 

     Have a wonderful, lucky, happy, loving week! 

Love, love love.

Like a story that had just begun.....

     I think I have made it known that the most important thing in my life is my family. That includes my fiance's family. I love them as if they were my own family and they have welcomed me with open arms, mostly for putting up with James for so long I think. Just kidding. Seriously though, they are amazing. They're loving, honest, giving, wonderful people and I love them with all of my heart.
     This past week has been a really rough one. We lost a member of our family who was an amazing person. There are a million things I want to say about D.J. He was the kind of person who always tried to put a smile on your face. He was the kind of person who could light up a room with his laughter. He was kind. He was funny and smart. He was genuine. There was never a time that he didn't tell you what he honestly thought or believed. He had his opinions and whether you agreed with them or not he told you exactly what he thought. Calling him my family was a blessing.

     There isn't anything I can say to make this better or easier in any way. But to my family, James, D.J.'s parents, sister, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends and everyone in between, take all the time you need to grieve. Please know that I am here for you. My love and prayers are with each and every one of you. Not a single one of you deserves to go through this. I know that there are no words that can heal any of what you are feeling. Please just know that he is watching over us... probably riding, fishing and hunting... I bet there aren't even any hunting seasons in Heaven. I love each and every one of you with my whole heart and I am here for you and grieving with you.

     D.J. you are loved and missed more than you could ever imagine. Please watch over everyone and give them the strength to get out of bed in the morning. Rest in peace, love and happiness.

A Series of Little Miracles

     She sat in down in the grass to soak up the sun while watching the kids play in the back yard. It was a humid day but the winter had been so long and cold that it was nice to feel so warm. She had made lemonade for the kids so she called them over. She sipped some unsweetened iced tea herself. She had always said that there's no point in drinking calories unless they're caffeinated. As the kids made their way toward her she couldn't help but think about how much life had changed. Just 8 very short years ago she was starting a new job, living with friends and fawning over a guy that was a temporary fixture in her life. She wondered how 8 years could possibly have gone by so quickly. When life changes 100 times and does a complete 180, time tends to go by faster, she thought to herself. She smiled as the kids gulped down their lemonade and then ran away to continue playing.
     There were so many ups and downs that had come over the past years. It was a chain of events that she never saw coming in her life. A series of things that she had not planned for her future. She fell in love with a man that she never in a million years would have imagined being the one for her. Finding out a few months later that they were pregnant. She wasn't ready for it. Not even close. She loved her baby with everything that she had but she definitely wasn't ready. It has caused a deep depression and a lot of resentment toward her partner, even though she knew it was not his fault. After a lot of hard work and some serious life adjustments they muddled through it all with their sweet, funny, kind, smart, amazing little boy. Of course there were more obstacles to come. Loss of jobs, fights with family, distancing from friends, problems with co-workers. They would work through it all together no matter how difficult it became. There were definitely days they wanted to strangle each other but they had made it. After having their second child, life could not have been more perfect. Adding a baby girl to the family just made life that much more perfect. Their son was the perfect, most loving big brother and the baby's favorite person in the entire world was her "bra bra". Life felt complete. There was not a day of any of it that she would trade for the world.
     There were still struggles. There were still plenty of moments of doubt. There were still fights, sometimes daily. There were stresses and lots and lots of financial issues. There were mistakes made and nasty things said. She knew life wasn't perfect. She knew that it wasn't realistic for perfection. He was never going to do the dishes or stop leaving his dirty socks everywhere. They were never going to see eye to eye about every problem that needed to be solved or every parenting issue that needed to be dealt with. Yet she knew that they would work through them together. She knew that they could conquer anything that came up. She knew that their family was strong. She knew how much she loved their family time together. Yes, there were things that needed to change and be worked on. Still, nothing had been done that was irreparable damage. There was still time to become better, stronger, happier.
     She listened to the phone ring three times, not really expecting an answer. "I'm really sorry about this morning. I know that things need to change and I know I need to try and be better." He said as his greeting. "Thank you. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said it the way that I did. There is no good that comes out of fighting like that. I love you." She responded.
"I love you too. I'll be home soon." He said and then hung up the phone.
     She sighed. Life isn't perfect. It isn't meant to be. You just have to compile a list of all the little moments that make you happy and embrace those moments. The bad moments wash away over time. The good ones, the little miracle moments, those stay with you forever. Those are the moments that you remember. Today, she was happy. It had been a rough morning but the argument had brought on some memories that reminded her what life was all about. Life was not perfect but it was a series of little miracles that made her whole world just right.

Favorite and Funny Friday

     There are so many moments in a week that I just find so funny, especially with the kids. The truth is, they are so unreserved that the things that pop out sometimes are just hysterical! Every Friday I would like to share some of my favorite and funny moments.

     Gabe got his hair cut and the hair dresser spun him around to look at it when she was done. He looked in the mirror as she asked him what he thought. He said "I like it. It reminds me of old times." Both the hair dresser and I laughed hysterically.

     Sophia has started to refuse to go to people. One day she refused to go to my mom and she clung to my brother. The other day it was me and she refused to go to James. It was making him so upset and her reactions to his taunting her was really fun to watch.

     Sophia spit food in James' face.

     Gabe was really sick this past weekend. That was not funny or my favorite but one of the times that he was awake in the middle of the night he had thrown up and missed the bucket a little bit. I went in to clean him up and change him and he got really really upset because had gotten some in his hair. I said "Don't worry about it buddy we will take a bath first thing in the morning." He said "I'm going back to sleep and hopefully when I wake up I will just forget any of this ever happened." I felt awful for him of course but the way that he said that and the way the sentence was structured was just so adult. I couldn't help but laugh.

     These smiley face socks and the sunshine were definitely one of my favorite moments this week. Even if I was at work while it was so nice, it was nice to go outside in the sun for a few minutes during break time. 

    

     I found this quite hysterical this week while my kids were giving me a run for my stubborn. Let me tell you it is not an easy task to out stubborn me but my kids do it with ease.

     That's all for this week! Happy weekend!!! Love, love, love!

My Happy Place

     I hate that I haven't been posting lately. This is my space. This is my outlet. This is the thing I do for myself that helps me get out a lot of emotion, even if I'm not writing about my emotions. This past week has been a busy one as usual. Doctors appointments, work, Gabe getting sick. That's no excuse though. The thing is every time that I write a post I feel better. I feel more like myself. I know that I love doing this and that I need it in my life even if I am the only person who ever reads it. So I have come up with some ideas to structure me a little bit.

(The beach is also my happy place but in this case I'm talking about the blog!)

    First of all, I love writing stories. So, I came up with Short Story Sunday. I am going to do my best to post a short story every Sunday. Some will be fiction, some will be embellished, some will be straight from the heart. All of them will be in story form.
    Second, there are so many moments in a week that I find funny. Moments that make you laugh are the best kind. So, I am adding Favorite and Funny Friday, where every Friday I will post some of my favorite and funny moments from the week. Hopefully, they will put a smile on other people's faces the way that they do mine.
      I may come up with more ideas over time. Maybe the rest of my posts will just be catching up with me and me letting it all out. Maybe I will have some really insightful things to say. Who knows? That's what makes blogging so much fun isn't it?!

     I have started going back to the gym! It feels so good. I actually managed to get there 3 times last week with my friend Melissa. It has been so amazing and I feel so accomplished (and tired) after I go. I really want to lose some weight. I want to make me a better me. A healthier me. A happier me. I want to do it for myself and for my kids. They need me to be as healthy and happy as possible to make them as happy and healthy as possible.
     I have to remember to make the time to do things that make me the happiest. Spend time with my kids and fiance, go to the gym and blog. Those are the things I need right now. Well, those things and the sun but I don't get to control the sun, unfortunately. So stayed tuned friends, for a more focused and happy me!

Love, love, love!

Life lately....

     Life lately has been busy. Life lately has been boring. Life lately has been very blah. I am so so SO sick of the winter. I need spring like I need air. Only I need warm, sunny, happy air. The winter and ALL of this ridiculous snow needs to stop! It's making me crazy and a little depressed. I know I live in New England and I should expect it. Usually I do but this year is out of control! On the other hand, life lately has also been wonderful, as life always is if you look for happiness in the small things.
     We went bowling with one of my Mom, one of my best friends and her daughter. It was Gabe's first time bowling and MAN did he LOVE it!!! He was really really good at it too! He actually beat all of us!

                         

     Sophia has learned how to pull herself up and stand on her own. It was so shocking the first time I saw it happen I yelled her name and scared her so she fell. Which of course I felt horrible about! The second time (when I took the pictures below) was much better and she stayed standing for a while!

     I did a mini photo shoot with Sophia in a dress that a friend of mine bought me at my baby shower. It is a 9 month dress and she is 9 months now but she is in clothes much bigger than that and I'm afraid the dress won't fit her this spring when she could actually wear it. So instead I decided to take a bunch of pictures of her in it because the dress (and of course Sophia) are gorgeous!!!

     I bought this watch and the lovely lady who sold it to me, Leslie from this blog, also sent me the cutest Princess Sofia the First bow, for my little Princess Sophia!

I also got this ring from Lisa Leonard Designs, that I absolutely love!!! It has my fiance and children's first initial of their first names and then my favorite number, 13, engraved in it. It's handmade and so special!

I went back to the gym for the first time in years! I got cleared to do so by the doctor on Monday and went that night with a friend! I need to get back in shape and lose some weight for myself and my kids. I just want to be a happier, healthier me and it's time to start making that happen! I really enjoyed the time at the gym and can't wait to keep going! It felt so good to do something to make me a better me! 

     So yes, life lately has been a whirlwind as always. However, I wouldn't trade a single day of it for anything! I love my family. I love my friends. I love myself. I love starting new routines. I'm still wishing for spring/summer and all the outdoor activities it will bring (as well as our Disney World trip that Gabe still knows nothing about) but for now I will try and embrace the little moments... even if they do happen in the winter... 

Love, love, love! <3

Best Friend: 13 Things I Love and Promise....

     I really enjoyed doing this post to my children. They're obviously the most important things in my life and I love them unconditionally. I started thinking more and more about the most important people in my life. My fiance, my mom, my brother and my friends. Without my friends I would have gone crazy and lost it a long time ago. So this post is to my best friend who keeps me sane on a daily basis.

Dear Best Friend,
     There are a million "best friend" lists out there. So many of them apply to our friendship. However, these are some of the things that I love about our friendship. These are some of the things I promise to you forever and always. After all, who knows which is longer.

1) I will always snap chat you to ask about any article of clothing, for myself, before I buy it.
     I can't even begin to fathom what I would be wearing right now if it weren't for pictures and snap chat. Being a mom makes staying in tune difficult and you're always there with your opinion and I appreciate that. I will also tell you my opinion on anything you're about to buy. I won't stop you from buying it but I will tell you that the fluffy, funny shaped rug you're about to buy is way too weird.
2) I will always be here for you.
     I will be here to cheer you on. I will be ecstatic about the good. I will listen to you vent. I will trash talk anyone or anything that is bad. I will happily punch people in the face for you if I have to, or at least threaten to do it to make you feel better. I will play devil's advocate. I will find the positive. I will listen and understand. I will do whatever I need to do to get you through things. No matter what.
3) I will always encourage over-indulging.
     Alcohol. Food. Shopping. Coffee. Sometimes, you just need it and I am the person you can count on to understand that and make you feel way less guilty about it.
4) I will make sure that we always have a show together.
     I love that we have shows together. We just kind of fell into that fact that we both already loved One Tree Hill but I want to make sure we always have one. It's a silly connection that I really enjoy. If it could always be a show with Sophia Bush in it, that would be just fine by me!!!
5) It doesn't matter to me how much or little time we have together.
     As long as we talk, text, snap chat, facebook, instagram, tweet and see each other as often as life permits, I am happy. I know that we can pick up right where we left off no matter how little we see each other and I know that we will always be there for each other regardless of time spent together.
6) The fact that we both love....
     glitter, sparkles, Taylor Swift, One Tree Hill, the same genre of books, the number 13, the beach, Starbucks (although my addiction to that was your fault), the Patriots, crime/cop shows and so many other millions of things, makes me us, us. Our similar tastes in things combined with our many differences is what makes things so perfect!

7) Men are infuriating.
     That is why we have best friends. The way I see it, if I didn't have you to vent to about the man in my life, I probably would have killed him by now. Having a friend who understands and listens and will go out with me to do things when he won't (or I don't want him to) is exactly what I need. Of course, I am here to do the same for you. They may be our other halves but I think you complete the first half of me.
8) I really appreciate and love the way you care for and love my kids.
     I cannot wait until you have kids so I can love and spoil them in the same way that you have mine! I am also happy to let you borrow mine for an extended period of time to insure that you don't have kids until you're 100% ready and want to. I assure you if I load them up with sugar and stuff before I leave them with you, it will make you want to wait. Most people find it difficult when they have kids and their friends don't but with you that has never been an issue and it just makes you that much more incredible.
9) I love that I can trust you with anything.
     I know that no matter what I say to you I can not only trust you with it but I know that you won't judge me. You won't judge my stupid moments, my angry moments, my bad moments or habits, my imperfections. None of those things have ever changed your opinion of me. I know that I can talk to you about anything. No matter what I hear or if something is bothering me, I'm going to talk to you about it directly. It is incredible to have a friend like that. I know that you know you can expect and do the same with me.
10) The stupid, ridiculous, silly things are my favorite.
     When you can't do math or I say something completely idiotic and we just laugh, for like, 5 years about it, those are some of my favorite moments.
11) I like that no matter what we do, we have fun as long as we're together.
     Whether we go on a trip or stay in and eat junk food and watch OTH or just head to Target for absolutely no reason at all, we're having a good time. No matter what it is that we're doing just hanging out with each other is enough to revive my soul.

12) I will always remind you just how amazing you are.
     I will always be here to tell you you're beautiful, brave, smart, kind, funny and wonderful. No matter how bad of a day you're having I will always be there for a pick me up. Sometimes I will probably even say it just because I feel like it. Every one of those things is true. You are one of the most amazing and driven and intelligent people that I know. You are going to do wonderful things with your life and I will be here every step of the way.
13) You will always be my B. Davis to P. Sawyer.
     It's the best way to say it. Lets face it, we've had ups and downs. We've gone through rough patches. Maybe we've never actually physically hit each other but there have been times when we have both felt that way. I can't express how amazing it is to have made it through all the bull shit and come out the other side closer and stronger. I will never let anything separate us again. I need you in my life. I want you in my life. You're a keeper. I love you J. Davis. Forever and always. 

Love always,
Diane

The Grass isn't Always Greener on the Other Side...

  I won't pretend that this week was the best week of my life. I honestly thought I would enjoy and appreciate it more than I did. I couldn't do anything. I was out of it with a cloudy, fuzzy brain. I was tired. In pain. Sore. Irritated. This week was a challenge considering I have done nothing since coming home from the hospital. It was difficult not to be able to do the normal things like work, dishes, vacuum, laundry. It was horrible not to be able to play with my son the way he wanted. It was devastating not to be able to pick up and hold my daughter. I felt like a terrible mom this week. Sophia couldn't understand why Mommy couldn't pick her up when she bumped her head. Gabe was understanding but hated that I couldn't go outside to play in the snow with him. I just wanted to do more. Be more. Give them what they needed. But I couldn't. This week I had to take care of me.

    This week I learned to appreciate so many things in my life. My ability to do all of the things that I normally do. The people around me that came and helped me do everything that I was unable to do. My mom was the biggest help of all. She freaked out every time I moved for the first few days. I can never thank her enough for everything she has done. James was also a life saver. Whenever my mom was at work he was there to fill in the gaps. He was by my side, making sure the kids were taken care of and that I didn't need anything. My brother picked up Gabe from school while I was in the hospital which was extremely helpful. My friend Caroline did a very large amount of dishes the day after I came home. She had to have known they were making me crazy! My work friends sent me the most amazing Edible Arrangement. I have ALWAYS wanted someone to send me one of those but they're so expensive that I never would have asked! It made me feel really special to come home to that! And chocolate covered pineapples and strawberries.... I almost died! My friend Melissa visited me and just talked to me for a while then came again today and took me to a movie and shaved my poor cats tangled fur. My friend Jenn sent texts, facebook messaged me stickers and kept me afloat all week when I was feeling down. I could not be more grateful for all of these amazing people in my life. There are so many more that I couldn't even begin to put it all into writing. So many people checked in with me to make sure I was doing well and there is nothing that makes a person feel better than that.

     I did a lot of catching up on shows that were long forgotten on my DVR. One of them was Once Upon A Time. I forgot how much I loved that show until I watched 8 episodes straight. It is so good and the story line is just so intricate! I really enjoyed that. I also did a Criminal Minds marathon. I watched the entire first season of Girls which I have not made up my mind about whether I like or not.
     I did not do as much reading as I would have liked. I wanted to finish reading Allegiant by Veronica Roth. I do not believe I have ever not finished a book. I love to read. I get absolutely absorbed by the story. When it's a trilogy or a series, I don't stop until I am all the way through. For some reason I am at a standstill with this one. Just stopped and stuck. I liked it so I can't figure out what the problem is. I'm trying though. I started The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I haven't gotten very far but am intrigued by the characters and am pretty sure it is going to be amazing! I also got a book called I Am That Girl by Alexis Jones with a foreword by Sophia Bush. It's an inspirational and motivational book. I haven't gotten very far into it but I am loving all the good that it can teach women and girls!

     Valentine's Day was really wonderful and full of family love! It was Sophia's first which made it a special one for all of us. Both of the kids really loved waking up to their special Valentine's Day presents. A lot of what we got them was free or handmade which was really cool. Gabe made James and I a card at school and my Mom got me a Starbucks gift card... bless her heart of gold!

      I am finally getting back to feeling like myself and being able to move around normally again. Gabe and I played a couple of board games which was really enjoyable for both of us! I am really looking forward to getting back to normal with a lot more appreciation for the way my normal life is. For the rest of the night though I'm going to bask in relaxing and maybe even treat myself to a Girl Scout cookie or two. They've been here all week and they're getting impossible to resist!!!