Sunday, March 16, 2014

A Series of Little Miracles

     She sat in down in the grass to soak up the sun while watching the kids play in the back yard. It was a humid day but the winter had been so long and cold that it was nice to feel so warm. She had made lemonade for the kids so she called them over. She sipped some unsweetened iced tea herself. She had always said that there's no point in drinking calories unless they're caffeinated. As the kids made their way toward her she couldn't help but think about how much life had changed. Just 8 very short years ago she was starting a new job, living with friends and fawning over a guy that was a temporary fixture in her life. She wondered how 8 years could possibly have gone by so quickly. When life changes 100 times and does a complete 180, time tends to go by faster, she thought to herself. She smiled as the kids gulped down their lemonade and then ran away to continue playing.
     There were so many ups and downs that had come over the past years. It was a chain of events that she never saw coming in her life. A series of things that she had not planned for her future. She fell in love with a man that she never in a million years would have imagined being the one for her. Finding out a few months later that they were pregnant. She wasn't ready for it. Not even close. She loved her baby with everything that she had but she definitely wasn't ready. It has caused a deep depression and a lot of resentment toward her partner, even though she knew it was not his fault. After a lot of hard work and some serious life adjustments they muddled through it all with their sweet, funny, kind, smart, amazing little boy. Of course there were more obstacles to come. Loss of jobs, fights with family, distancing from friends, problems with co-workers. They would work through it all together no matter how difficult it became. There were definitely days they wanted to strangle each other but they had made it. After having their second child, life could not have been more perfect. Adding a baby girl to the family just made life that much more perfect. Their son was the perfect, most loving big brother and the baby's favorite person in the entire world was her "bra bra". Life felt complete. There was not a day of any of it that she would trade for the world.
     There were still struggles. There were still plenty of moments of doubt. There were still fights, sometimes daily. There were stresses and lots and lots of financial issues. There were mistakes made and nasty things said. She knew life wasn't perfect. She knew that it wasn't realistic for perfection. He was never going to do the dishes or stop leaving his dirty socks everywhere. They were never going to see eye to eye about every problem that needed to be solved or every parenting issue that needed to be dealt with. Yet she knew that they would work through them together. She knew that they could conquer anything that came up. She knew that their family was strong. She knew how much she loved their family time together. Yes, there were things that needed to change and be worked on. Still, nothing had been done that was irreparable damage. There was still time to become better, stronger, happier.
     She listened to the phone ring three times, not really expecting an answer. "I'm really sorry about this morning. I know that things need to change and I know I need to try and be better." He said as his greeting. "Thank you. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said it the way that I did. There is no good that comes out of fighting like that. I love you." She responded.
"I love you too. I'll be home soon." He said and then hung up the phone.
     She sighed. Life isn't perfect. It isn't meant to be. You just have to compile a list of all the little moments that make you happy and embrace those moments. The bad moments wash away over time. The good ones, the little miracle moments, those stay with you forever. Those are the moments that you remember. Today, she was happy. It had been a rough morning but the argument had brought on some memories that reminded her what life was all about. Life was not perfect but it was a series of little miracles that made her whole world just right.

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