My life is my fairytale

                
   Yesterday was a normal day. It consisted of the kids, work, cleaning, trying to keep up with football scores in the middle. Yesterday was a typical day in the life of Diane. During the course of this day I was planning the week ahead and thinking about Halloween. Gabe is going to be Hulk and Sophia is going to be Cinderella. Which made me think a lot about fairy tales. I grew up with Ariel, Belle, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and my all time favorite, Cinderella. I love fairy tales. The idea of being swept off of my feet by a once in a life time love. The idea of a man taking me away from my every day life to a new a better life. I grew up pretending to be a princess. My mom has called me Princess Di since I was a baby. I always thought it was so majestic and wonderful. There are days when I still do. The days when all I do is dishes and pick up toys and clean floors and then do it all over again because the kids took all the toys out for the 10th time or just when I finish the pile of dishes everyone is hungry. Not to mention the endless piles of laundry! Lets face it, this is an every day occurrence in the life of a mom. And we all do it... we day dream. We dream of some place far far away where someone else does all of these things for us.
   What if the story really ends like this song Fairytale by Sara Bareilles? What if a fairytale is nothing more than a dream or a fleeting moment? What if a fairytale is nothing more than exactly what we experience every single day? Love isn't perfect. Life isn't perfect. It's messy and confusing and mean and awful. It's happy and easy and true and amazing! It's a million different things that make us feel every emotion humanly possible. That is what makes it so special. That is what makes it last. That is what makes it worth it.

(Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale)

     I think that growing up I may have missed the point of the fairy tale. Maybe the entire point of the story was that in the end the princess ends up being the happiest person she could possibly be! She ends up with a person she knows she will love for the rest of her life. A person that she knows will love her unconditionally for the rest of her life. I have that. I have that times three! So what makes a fairytale so much better than my life?   
   I guess, the truth is, the fairytale hasn't changed a bit. But my thoughts and feelings about fairytales have changed. You see, when I find myself day dreaming of a different place far far away where I don't have to do the things I don't want to do, I always come back to reality. The moment I come back, I look at my children's faces and I remember the reason that I get out of bed every morning. You see fairytales have to start somewhere. They start and end with true, everlasting love. I have that. Every moment of every day, I have that. My fiancée is my true love. My son is my true love. My daughter is my true love. My life is the perfect fairytale. It is a fairytale tailored to fit me. It is a fairytale story written by me, just for me. And it is up to me how I choose to take it. Do I keep dreaming of being somewhere else? Or do I embrace the fairytale that I have written for myself?There is nothing that makes me happier than doing all of the things I wish I didn't have to do because I'm doing it for my family; the people that I love more than anything in the world. There is no one else in this universe I would rather slave for than James, Gabe and Sophia. So I have to do dishes four times a day. So I have to pick up the same toys 100 times so I don't step on them and break my foot. Why wouldn't I? Do I wish that those toys that give my kids such pleasure didn't exist? Do I wish that my family was going hungry like so many (far too many) families in this world do? OF COURSE NOT!
   Please don't misunderstand... I will be doing dishes for the fourth time tonight when I get out of work at midnight and I will be day dreaming of a place where someone does the dishes for me. Or maybe I'll be dreaming of a place where I have so much money I can just throw the dishes away every time we use them and buy beautiful fancy new ones. I think that these things are perfectly normal and healthy. If we didn't have our day dreams or our fantasies, how would we survive?!
   I just know that from now on, even in my day dreams, I'm going to remember just how good I have it. I am going to remember that everything that Cinderella has, I have right here with me. True, unconditional, amazing love. That's all I need! It's more than I could have ever dreamed. You see my ordinary life... it is my fairytale....

Picture

   I woke up this morning pretty excited that I had finally started a blog. Even though it was in the spur of the moment last night I really enjoyed writing and it made me feel good to be doing something for myself.
   As usual, I don't have a whole lot of time today but I thought I would share a photo.

   These are my two wonderful children Gabriel and Sophia. There are probably a million pictures I could post but this is one of my current favorites of both of them together. Getting a good picture of both of them is nearly impossible. I have plenty of separate pictures of them that are wonderful but it is not easy to capture them both together.
   This post wasn't much of anything but I wanted to share something today. Can you tell that we're Patriots fans? Have a wonderful day!!!!

Moments that make life worth living.

   As I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep and not succeeding I decided to do something I've been meaning to do for a long time now. I decided to start writing. I don't know how good at it I will be or how much I will have time to write but I want to try it anyway. I want to have a place to share my thoughts and feelings and funny stories. I want a place where I can write things that people can read and hopefully relate to.
   So I made myself a hot cup of decaf tea in my favorite Tigger mug, put on my Patriots snuggie, and got comfortable with my lap top. I actually got the idea from another blogger and amazing friend in her blog post the other day. I realized that this is something I can do for myself. Something I can do to just sink into my own thoughts and feelings.
   I am the mother of two wonderful children, so most days just getting a shower in feels like an accomplishment. I absolutely love every single moment with my children. Even the moments that make me want to pull my hair out. My kids are amazing. My son, Gabriel, will be 5 in November. My daughter, Sophia, will be 6 months in November. As time flies by and my kids age on a daily basis, there is one thing I constantly struggle with.... taking things day by day. It is something that I want to work on in my life and will be a constant theme in this blog. I want to write something at least once a week that made me realize how lucky I am to have what I have in a world where most of us want more than we can ever have. I want to try and put aside my woes and worries about money, lack of time, lack of space, etcetera. I just want to try and enjoy every single second that I have with my family and just live life day by day.
  Along with my two beautiful children I have a fiancée, James, who I have been with for almost 6 years now. My mom also currently lives with us because her and her boyfriend sold their house and he moved to Nevada where she will be joining him in May. My brother is also "temporarily" living with us on our couch until he gets his life situated... which seems to be taking a very long time. I love my family to death but as you can imagine in our three bedroom one bathroom apartment, things get a little strained from time to time. I do enjoy being so close to my family but it does take a toll on my sanity on a regular basis.
  There are a lot more things I would like to talk about but I believe the decaf tea is finally starting to do the trick. Time for this lady to head to bed. I do hope to write again soon and that you are all looking forward to my next post. Before I go I would like to tell a short happy moment story that happened last week.
  We were in the car on our way home from my fiancée's brother's house. It was just the two kids and myself. It was one of those rare car rides where Sophia was awake and content. The next thing I know I hear her laughing out loud. I look in the rear view mirror and she is looking at her brother and laughing for no reason at all. Well of course this absolutely warmed my heart and made me smile so at that point my son decided to make funny faces at her and that progressed into loud obnoxious noises. Typically, that would be extremely annoying. I would be really irritated especially in a small confined space like a car. However, this time I couldn't help but enjoy it. Here we were, on a normal day, just driving home and my children were laughing hysterically at each other for no reason at all. There is no better feeling than the unbelievable amount of joy I felt during that car ride. There is no better happiness than that of your children's happiness radiating through your entire being. This is a moment I will remember for the rest of my life. This is a moment I wouldn't trade for all the money in the entire world. This is a moment that makes life worth living.