Thursday, November 7, 2013

A sigh of release

   I sit at the kitchen table. The house is completely silent. Gabe is downstairs at the neighbors. Sophia is asleep. The boys are both out. My mom is at work. None of the TV's are on. No one is asking me for anything. Even the cats are asleep! There is only one light on in the whole house. It's dark everywhere except where I am. There is nothing but silence and darkness.
   I breathe a sigh of release. Yes... release. Tension, stress, irritation, drama... I release these things with just one sigh. I don't want to do anything. Yup, there's a pile of dishes. Sure, I could take the time to catch up on some TV. I definitely need to switch the laundry. But I don't want to move. Not even an inch. If I move, the silence will end. My time of complete and total quiet will be gone. If I move even a millimeter, it's all over. I just need 5 minutes... five minutes with absolutely nothing in my brain. 5 minutes of no one asking me anything. 5 minutes to breath a sigh of release.
  I actually ended up getting about 6 minutes before I hear Gabe come back up the stairs with Lola. Sure enough, the sound returns to my life. Gabe and Lola wake up Sophia. She's hungry. I take care of them, switch the laundry, do the dishes. But for that 6 minutes... I had just enough release to get me through the week. I've heard mediation is amazing... and now I know why. If that is what meditation feels like, blocking out the whole world for a little while and just entering yourself... well it's an incredible feeling!
   Being a parent is hard. Being in a relationship is hard. Being a daughter, a sister, a friend, a manager at work, a cook, a maid, a nurse.... it's all hard. How do you keep yourself sane!?! Well for me, it's simple. 5 minutes of complete and total silence from anything and everything. You can take this silence in the car, kitchen, bathroom. It makes no difference. 5 minutes of absolutely nothing is enough to get me through when I feel like I'm about to lose it. Granted it is NOT easy to find the silence. It is not easy to make 5 minutes when you have 2 kids and a house full of people. There are 100 ways that I use to keep myself sane. Blaring and belting a good song at the top of my lungs when I'm alone in the car. Dancing with myself or the kids. Watching a good movie or TV show after the kids are asleep. Time with my friends. Dates with my fiancée. There are a million things that keep me sane. Yet I have found NOTHING as amazing as 5 minutes of silence and a sigh of release.
  So if you can, no matter who you are or what your situation is, kids, no kids, even if you are a kid, find 5 minutes and take a deeeeeeep breath and then let it release everything. Just for 5 minutes, let it ALL go. And enjoy!

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