I sit at the kitchen table. The house is completely silent. Gabe is downstairs at the neighbors. Sophia is asleep. The boys are both out. My mom is at work. None of the TV's are on. No one is asking me for anything. Even the cats are asleep! There is only one light on in the whole house. It's dark everywhere except where I am. There is nothing but silence and darkness.
I breathe a sigh of release. Yes... release. Tension, stress, irritation, drama... I release these things with just one sigh. I don't want to do anything. Yup, there's a pile of dishes. Sure, I could take the time to catch up on some TV. I definitely need to switch the laundry. But I don't want to move. Not even an inch. If I move, the silence will end. My time of complete and total quiet will be gone. If I move even a millimeter, it's all over. I just need 5 minutes... five minutes with absolutely nothing in my brain. 5 minutes of no one asking me anything. 5 minutes to breath a sigh of release.
I actually ended up getting about 6 minutes before I hear Gabe come back up the stairs with Lola. Sure enough, the sound returns to my life. Gabe and Lola wake up Sophia. She's hungry. I take care of them, switch the laundry, do the dishes. But for that 6 minutes... I had just enough release to get me through the week. I've heard mediation is amazing... and now I know why. If that is what meditation feels like, blocking out the whole world for a little while and just entering yourself... well it's an incredible feeling!
Being a parent is hard. Being in a relationship is hard. Being a daughter, a sister, a friend, a manager at work, a cook, a maid, a nurse.... it's all hard. How do you keep yourself sane!?! Well for me, it's simple. 5 minutes of complete and total silence from anything and everything. You can take this silence in the car, kitchen, bathroom. It makes no difference. 5 minutes of absolutely nothing is enough to get me through when I feel like I'm about to lose it. Granted it is NOT easy to find the silence. It is not easy to make 5 minutes when you have 2 kids and a house full of people. There are 100 ways that I use to keep myself sane. Blaring and belting a good song at the top of my lungs when I'm alone in the car. Dancing with myself or the kids. Watching a good movie or TV show after the kids are asleep. Time with my friends. Dates with my fiancée. There are a million things that keep me sane. Yet I have found NOTHING as amazing as 5 minutes of silence and a sigh of release.
So if you can, no matter who you are or what your situation is, kids, no kids, even if you are a kid, find 5 minutes and take a deeeeeeep breath and then let it release everything. Just for 5 minutes, let it ALL go. And enjoy!
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Halloween '13
I'm a little delayed on this but I wanted to post some pictures from our Halloween adventures this year. We did a lot of things this year like carving and painting pumpkins, making a Haunted ginger bread house, "Truck"-or-Treating at a near by high school, Trick or Treating in our neighborhood with friends and family. Time tends to fly by really fast when you have kids so I have to really make the time to accomplish holiday tasks. Realistically, it's not even for the kids. Every holiday I share with them is so special and important to me! I enjoy the time with them so much and the joy that it brings them is wonderful to me. So here's a little picture show from our Halloween holiday together!
Overall, Halloween was a great success and a fantastic memory! We had a lot of our friends with us (some of which are unfortunately not pictured here), we love our neighbors (who are also great friends) and their children and we had a fantastic night with them! It was certainly a Halloween to remember!
Gabe called this his "Scary Halloween House". Some friends of ours brought it over and worked on it with Gabe. Ashley is 17 and one of Gabe's favorite people in the world. They worked on it together and Gabe had a blast doing it!
These are our pumpkins from this year. The Cinderella one is mine. The Angry Bird is Gabe's. The clown that is throwing up is James'. The little one with the stars as eyes is the one we craved for Sophia. And the one on the bottom stair is my brother's that Gabe and our neighbor's daughter, Lola, painted and then Gabe for some reason continuously stabbed with a pumpkin pick.
Sophia's Cinderella costume.
Gabe wore 3 different costumes this year. He was Thor in this picture. This was a picture from "Truck"-or- Treating at a local high school. They had the high school students at the trunks of their cars passing out candy. They also had some of the classrooms with different Halloween activities. The room in this picture was carnival games with little prizes for the kids. They also had a haunted "house" room, a room that was playing Monsters University, and the cafeteria had pizza and stuff you could buy. It was a really great experience for the kids!
These are the cookies I made for Gabe's class party. I cheated and used the pre-made cookies from the store. Yet somehow, as usual, I ran out of time and still had to stay up until 1:00AM making them.
This was Sophia the morning of Gabe's school parade. She was not thrilled with her snow suit we put her in but it was FREEZING that morning.
Gabe was Lightening McQueen for his school parade. The super hero costumes both had inappropriate "weapons" that he would have wanted to bring so we used a costume from 2 years ago.
This was this years costume. He was Hulk and he loved every second of it!
This is Gabe, talking to Grandma with his dad behind him.
Gabe LOVED this cat. After I took the picture he told me "Yay, now it's a memory!"
Gabe was Hulk, Lola (one of the 4 daughters of our neighbors) was La-La-Loopsy, Camila (my friend's daughter) was also Cinderalla, and Ryan (one of the other girls from our neighbors) was a rock star!
The pumpkins all lit up.... Cinderella didn't make it to Halloween...
There are our neighbors pumpkins!
This was my brother, our friend Nate, and our neighbor, Wayne giving out candy from our porch on Halloween night!
Overall, Halloween was a great success and a fantastic memory! We had a lot of our friends with us (some of which are unfortunately not pictured here), we love our neighbors (who are also great friends) and their children and we had a fantastic night with them! It was certainly a Halloween to remember!
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
A day without a friend is like a day without a drop of honey....
Have you ever thought about the person that is your lifeline? I have a house FULL of people every single day. Still, I was thinking about the people I go to the most with my everyday issues. When every person in my house is driving me crazy I have amazing friends that I can turn to. There are a lot of mom's out there who I have heard say "I have kids, I don't have time for friends!" There are certainly days where I feel like I don't have time for friends. There are days where I would rather stay in bed under the covers all day and avoid human contact. However, I know that I need my friends.
Ironically enough, just this morning is a fantastic example of why friends are so important. My mom and I got into a huge fight this morning. I have a pretty bad temper sometimes. I can keep calm and not flip out in any professional environment but when it comes to someone attacking my personal life, I lose it. Especially at my mom because I know that no matter what happens, her and I will always be ok in the end. Needless to say, my mom said some things that really hit the spot. I lost my temper and said some really mean things in response. So I felt angry, hurt, sad and guilty all at the same time. I didn't know what to do with all of these emotions. I didn't really feel like it was a conversation that I could share with James. It's not that I want to keep it from him but it would just make him angry at her too and their relationship isn't as easily repairable as hers and mine is. I couldn't talk to my brother about it because I know it would just start a fight between him and I as well and I certainly didn't want that. So, I texted a friend.
It was an extremely personal situation that I couldn't just talk to anyone about. It was almost something I wasn't even sure I wanted to say it to my best friend. But I knew that she would never judge me. I knew that she would listen, give me her opinion and calm me down. That was exactly what happened. She told me I had overreacted and that I should apologize even though I didn't want to. So, I did.
The fight ended and I realized that I couldn't go a single day without knowing that my friends are there for me. I couldn't be more grateful for the friends I can count on every single day. The friends that understand that I have a family and children that are going to come first to me, no matter what. I think a lot of parents have a hard time keeping friends when they have kids because their friends don't understand. A lot of times, if people don't have kids of their own, they don't understand your priorities. I also understand there are absolutely times where you just need a friend and don't want the distraction of children. I need those times just as much, if not more, than that people that don't have children! Every once in a while, a dinner date and a walk around Target with no kids is the most amazing stress release.
I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is finding a balance. A balance between work, family, friends and yourself. I still have not mastered the balance. I am honestly pretty sure that I never will. But I do try. There are a few things that have helped me make balancing things a little easier when it comes to my free time and choosing between plans with friends or my family. One of them is can I bring the kids with me? If a friend wants to go out or have me come over and I feel like I haven't spent much time with my kids in the past few days, I am going to bring my kids with me or invite my friend to come to my house to spend time with all of us. If for any reason, I feel like I'm missing my kids and feeling guilty about it, I am going to say no, cancel plans, or bring the kids with me. I expect my friends to understand that. If you're going to get upset with me for putting my kids first, then honestly, you're not a very good friend to begin with. Of course there are those times where it is an obligation that you can't cancel or bring the kids and you're going to end up feeling guilty regardless. That is part of being an adult and a parent. It's incredibly frustrating. One of the other things that is extremely helpful is having a job that is semi-flexible with hours and an understanding boss. I have known my boss and been working for him since I was 17 years old. I have moved up in the company with him over the past 10 years. He has been there for both pregnancies, visited both my children in the hospital when they were born, and is relatively understanding when it comes to my needs for time off. It isn't always a cake walk. He has a lot of other employees that he needs to please as well. I just have to remind myself (very regularly) that he does try to do what he can to give me the most possible time with my family that he can. I consider him a great friend as well.
Being a parent is nothing but a balancing act. Heck, being an adult is nothing but a balancing act! I just know that for me, I need to balance my friends in there as well. I need them in my life to keep me sane and help me with my day to day woes. Truthfully, I LOVE being there for them as well. I love feeling needed and helpful and listening to their issues as well. I need that in my life just as much as I need them to listen to me.
I couldn't be more grateful for my friends. So in this lovely November month of giving thanks, today I am thankful for my friends. I think I will try and do something today to let them know how much I appreciate them and need them in my life. Other than this blog post of course... ;)
Ironically enough, just this morning is a fantastic example of why friends are so important. My mom and I got into a huge fight this morning. I have a pretty bad temper sometimes. I can keep calm and not flip out in any professional environment but when it comes to someone attacking my personal life, I lose it. Especially at my mom because I know that no matter what happens, her and I will always be ok in the end. Needless to say, my mom said some things that really hit the spot. I lost my temper and said some really mean things in response. So I felt angry, hurt, sad and guilty all at the same time. I didn't know what to do with all of these emotions. I didn't really feel like it was a conversation that I could share with James. It's not that I want to keep it from him but it would just make him angry at her too and their relationship isn't as easily repairable as hers and mine is. I couldn't talk to my brother about it because I know it would just start a fight between him and I as well and I certainly didn't want that. So, I texted a friend.
It was an extremely personal situation that I couldn't just talk to anyone about. It was almost something I wasn't even sure I wanted to say it to my best friend. But I knew that she would never judge me. I knew that she would listen, give me her opinion and calm me down. That was exactly what happened. She told me I had overreacted and that I should apologize even though I didn't want to. So, I did.
The fight ended and I realized that I couldn't go a single day without knowing that my friends are there for me. I couldn't be more grateful for the friends I can count on every single day. The friends that understand that I have a family and children that are going to come first to me, no matter what. I think a lot of parents have a hard time keeping friends when they have kids because their friends don't understand. A lot of times, if people don't have kids of their own, they don't understand your priorities. I also understand there are absolutely times where you just need a friend and don't want the distraction of children. I need those times just as much, if not more, than that people that don't have children! Every once in a while, a dinner date and a walk around Target with no kids is the most amazing stress release.
I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is finding a balance. A balance between work, family, friends and yourself. I still have not mastered the balance. I am honestly pretty sure that I never will. But I do try. There are a few things that have helped me make balancing things a little easier when it comes to my free time and choosing between plans with friends or my family. One of them is can I bring the kids with me? If a friend wants to go out or have me come over and I feel like I haven't spent much time with my kids in the past few days, I am going to bring my kids with me or invite my friend to come to my house to spend time with all of us. If for any reason, I feel like I'm missing my kids and feeling guilty about it, I am going to say no, cancel plans, or bring the kids with me. I expect my friends to understand that. If you're going to get upset with me for putting my kids first, then honestly, you're not a very good friend to begin with. Of course there are those times where it is an obligation that you can't cancel or bring the kids and you're going to end up feeling guilty regardless. That is part of being an adult and a parent. It's incredibly frustrating. One of the other things that is extremely helpful is having a job that is semi-flexible with hours and an understanding boss. I have known my boss and been working for him since I was 17 years old. I have moved up in the company with him over the past 10 years. He has been there for both pregnancies, visited both my children in the hospital when they were born, and is relatively understanding when it comes to my needs for time off. It isn't always a cake walk. He has a lot of other employees that he needs to please as well. I just have to remind myself (very regularly) that he does try to do what he can to give me the most possible time with my family that he can. I consider him a great friend as well.
Being a parent is nothing but a balancing act. Heck, being an adult is nothing but a balancing act! I just know that for me, I need to balance my friends in there as well. I need them in my life to keep me sane and help me with my day to day woes. Truthfully, I LOVE being there for them as well. I love feeling needed and helpful and listening to their issues as well. I need that in my life just as much as I need them to listen to me.
I couldn't be more grateful for my friends. So in this lovely November month of giving thanks, today I am thankful for my friends. I think I will try and do something today to let them know how much I appreciate them and need them in my life. Other than this blog post of course... ;)
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