A day without a friend is like a day without a drop of honey....

   Have you ever thought about the person that is your lifeline? I have a house FULL of people every single day. Still, I was thinking about the people I go to the most with my everyday issues. When every person in my house is driving me crazy I have amazing friends that I can turn to. There are a lot of mom's out there who I have heard say "I have kids, I don't have time for friends!" There are certainly days where I feel like I don't have time for friends. There are days where I would rather stay in bed under the covers all day and avoid human contact. However, I know that I need my friends.
   Ironically enough, just this morning is a fantastic example of why friends are so important. My mom and I got into a huge fight this morning. I have a pretty bad temper sometimes. I can keep calm and not flip out in any professional environment but when it comes to someone attacking my personal life, I lose it. Especially at my mom because I know that no matter what happens, her and I will always be ok in the end. Needless to say, my mom said some things that really hit the spot. I lost my temper and said some really mean things in response. So I felt angry, hurt, sad and guilty all at the same time. I didn't know what to do with all of these emotions. I didn't really feel like it was a conversation that I could share with James. It's not that I want to keep it from him but it would just make him angry at her too and their relationship isn't as easily repairable as hers and mine is. I couldn't talk to my brother about it because I know it would just start a fight between him and I as well and I certainly didn't want that. So, I texted a friend.
  It was an extremely personal situation that I couldn't just talk to anyone about. It was almost something I wasn't even sure I wanted to say it to my best friend. But I knew that she would never judge me. I knew that she would listen, give me her opinion and calm me down. That was exactly what happened. She told me I had overreacted and that I should apologize even though I didn't want to. So, I did.
   The fight ended and I realized that I couldn't go a single day without knowing that my friends are there for me. I couldn't be more grateful for the friends I can count on every single day. The friends that understand that I have a family and children that are going to come first to me, no matter what. I think a lot of parents have a hard time keeping friends when they have kids because their friends don't understand. A lot of times, if people don't have kids of their own, they don't understand your priorities. I also understand there are absolutely times where you just need a friend and don't want the distraction of children. I need those times just as much, if not more, than that people that don't have children! Every once in a while, a dinner date and a walk around Target with no kids is the most amazing stress release.
   I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is finding a balance. A balance between work, family, friends and yourself. I still have not mastered the balance. I am honestly pretty sure that I never will. But I do try. There are a few things that have helped me make balancing things a little easier when it comes to my free time and choosing between plans with friends or my family. One of them is can I bring the kids with me? If a friend wants to go out or have me come over and I feel like I haven't spent much time with my kids in the past few days, I am going to bring my kids with me or invite my friend to come to my house to spend time with all of us. If for any reason, I feel like I'm missing my kids and feeling guilty about it, I am going to say no, cancel plans, or bring the kids with me. I expect my friends to understand that. If you're going to get upset with me for putting my kids first, then honestly, you're not a very good friend to begin with. Of course there are those times where it is an obligation that you can't cancel or bring the kids and you're going to end up feeling guilty regardless. That is part of being an adult and a parent. It's incredibly frustrating. One of the other things that is extremely helpful is having a job that is semi-flexible with hours and an understanding boss. I have known my boss and been working for him since I was 17 years old. I have moved up in the company with him over the past 10 years. He has been there for both pregnancies, visited both my children in the hospital when they were born, and is relatively understanding when it comes to my needs for time off. It isn't always a cake walk. He has a lot of other employees that he needs to please as well. I just have to remind myself (very regularly) that he does try to do what he can to give me the most possible time with my family that he can. I consider him a great friend as well.
   Being a parent is nothing but a balancing act. Heck, being an adult is nothing but a balancing act! I just know that for me, I need to balance my friends in there as well. I need them in my life to keep me sane and help me with my day to day woes. Truthfully, I LOVE being there for them as well. I love feeling needed and helpful and listening to their issues as well. I need that in my life just as much as I need them to listen to me.
   I couldn't be more grateful for my friends. So in this lovely November month of giving thanks, today I am thankful for my friends. I think I will try and do something today to let them know how much I appreciate them and need them in my life. Other than this blog post of course... ;)

My life is my fairytale

                
   Yesterday was a normal day. It consisted of the kids, work, cleaning, trying to keep up with football scores in the middle. Yesterday was a typical day in the life of Diane. During the course of this day I was planning the week ahead and thinking about Halloween. Gabe is going to be Hulk and Sophia is going to be Cinderella. Which made me think a lot about fairy tales. I grew up with Ariel, Belle, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and my all time favorite, Cinderella. I love fairy tales. The idea of being swept off of my feet by a once in a life time love. The idea of a man taking me away from my every day life to a new a better life. I grew up pretending to be a princess. My mom has called me Princess Di since I was a baby. I always thought it was so majestic and wonderful. There are days when I still do. The days when all I do is dishes and pick up toys and clean floors and then do it all over again because the kids took all the toys out for the 10th time or just when I finish the pile of dishes everyone is hungry. Not to mention the endless piles of laundry! Lets face it, this is an every day occurrence in the life of a mom. And we all do it... we day dream. We dream of some place far far away where someone else does all of these things for us.
   What if the story really ends like this song Fairytale by Sara Bareilles? What if a fairytale is nothing more than a dream or a fleeting moment? What if a fairytale is nothing more than exactly what we experience every single day? Love isn't perfect. Life isn't perfect. It's messy and confusing and mean and awful. It's happy and easy and true and amazing! It's a million different things that make us feel every emotion humanly possible. That is what makes it so special. That is what makes it last. That is what makes it worth it.

(Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale)

     I think that growing up I may have missed the point of the fairy tale. Maybe the entire point of the story was that in the end the princess ends up being the happiest person she could possibly be! She ends up with a person she knows she will love for the rest of her life. A person that she knows will love her unconditionally for the rest of her life. I have that. I have that times three! So what makes a fairytale so much better than my life?   
   I guess, the truth is, the fairytale hasn't changed a bit. But my thoughts and feelings about fairytales have changed. You see, when I find myself day dreaming of a different place far far away where I don't have to do the things I don't want to do, I always come back to reality. The moment I come back, I look at my children's faces and I remember the reason that I get out of bed every morning. You see fairytales have to start somewhere. They start and end with true, everlasting love. I have that. Every moment of every day, I have that. My fiancée is my true love. My son is my true love. My daughter is my true love. My life is the perfect fairytale. It is a fairytale tailored to fit me. It is a fairytale story written by me, just for me. And it is up to me how I choose to take it. Do I keep dreaming of being somewhere else? Or do I embrace the fairytale that I have written for myself?There is nothing that makes me happier than doing all of the things I wish I didn't have to do because I'm doing it for my family; the people that I love more than anything in the world. There is no one else in this universe I would rather slave for than James, Gabe and Sophia. So I have to do dishes four times a day. So I have to pick up the same toys 100 times so I don't step on them and break my foot. Why wouldn't I? Do I wish that those toys that give my kids such pleasure didn't exist? Do I wish that my family was going hungry like so many (far too many) families in this world do? OF COURSE NOT!
   Please don't misunderstand... I will be doing dishes for the fourth time tonight when I get out of work at midnight and I will be day dreaming of a place where someone does the dishes for me. Or maybe I'll be dreaming of a place where I have so much money I can just throw the dishes away every time we use them and buy beautiful fancy new ones. I think that these things are perfectly normal and healthy. If we didn't have our day dreams or our fantasies, how would we survive?!
   I just know that from now on, even in my day dreams, I'm going to remember just how good I have it. I am going to remember that everything that Cinderella has, I have right here with me. True, unconditional, amazing love. That's all I need! It's more than I could have ever dreamed. You see my ordinary life... it is my fairytale....

Picture

   I woke up this morning pretty excited that I had finally started a blog. Even though it was in the spur of the moment last night I really enjoyed writing and it made me feel good to be doing something for myself.
   As usual, I don't have a whole lot of time today but I thought I would share a photo.

   These are my two wonderful children Gabriel and Sophia. There are probably a million pictures I could post but this is one of my current favorites of both of them together. Getting a good picture of both of them is nearly impossible. I have plenty of separate pictures of them that are wonderful but it is not easy to capture them both together.
   This post wasn't much of anything but I wanted to share something today. Can you tell that we're Patriots fans? Have a wonderful day!!!!